Referrals Unlimited Network

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Today, as I opened my Skype window to “check in with my Skype buddies” and see what has been happening over the weekend, I found this message waiting for me.

“Hi Carol, I am from website design and development company based in India. As you arrange public conference so you must interacted with the people of same field. I am looking for business opportunities, can I get references from you.”

My response was: I’m sorry I am not able to provide any references for anyone that I have not done work with. You see, I’m a networking coach and I do believe in helping others achieve their goals but before any business is referred to anyone, a relationship must be built. You must get to know, like and trust the person you are referring and you must also be willing to take care of the person you are making that referral to.

One of the reasons why I opened this Skype Room was to give people the opportunity to interact with one another, to learn more about each other, personally and professionally. Learn how the other person does their work, find out what their work ethics are and generally get to know one another.

My network is important to me- I will not jeopardize the relationships I built my referring someone to any of them without knowing (1) if my network contact even needs their service (2) would be willing to talk with a new vendor (3) or is in the position of being able to pay for the services that are being offered. On the other hand, for the vendor that is referred, I want to know that they are ethical, going to do what they say they are going to do, when they say they are going to do it and not be pushy with my network. The only way I can make sure that happens is to take TIME to get to know the people I am referring. Nothing should be rushed; it’s not a “nice to meet you and now buy from me” situation. That’s no better than running around a networking event just handing out your business cards and saying buy from me. I just won’t do that and I won’t apologize to anyone for not doing that.

I would be totally out of line to refer a new vendor to anyone in my network just because the new vendor told me they want more business. You know, the whole world wants more business. Networking is a tremendous way to get new business, but you do need to know the proper way to do that. Networking is work- you have to “work” at it - the rewards often are tremendous, but it does take time. Just because you want something, does that mean you are going to get it? Of course not, work at developing those relationships. You may be pleasantly surprised how much you receive by doing this but don’t be alarmed at the amount of time you have to spend networking to get these results. It’s not instantaneous gratification! A good point to remember is that what is most important to YOU, may be of no importance at all to THEM – the tune you should be listening to is WIIFT (what’s in it for THEM) not WIIFY (what’s in it for YOU).

“Thanks Carol, I will try my level best to become a member of your network and you will certainly get to know more about me if you look at this website www.xxx.xxxx” Apparently my message wasn’t quite clear enough, because this new person wants to send me to their website to learn more about them. What happens at the website is that I find out about the business, but what does that tell me about the person? People do business with people, not businesses. That’s why it is important to make sure people understand you and how you work – how you take care of your clients, what makes you stand out from the competition? Why should I do business with you? How are you going to solve my problem(s)?

“Can I join your public chat?” Yes, you may join my public chat and yes, I would like to get to know more about you. Just remember, it takes time - share some tips, chat with the members of the chat room and get to know them. It’s ok to share your website on promo day (read the blue guidelines to find out what days that is permitted) but generally participate in conversations! I welcome anyone to come and join in the conversations in the Skype Room – you can find it very easily at http://www.runlancaster.com/skype-room/networking or you may request to connect with me via Skype and I can manually add you into the room.

Please do yourself a favor and don’t ask someone you just meet to refer business to you. Take the time to build the relationship - it will be much better for both of you to know the type of relationship you are part of - knowing that the other person is looking out for your best interest as well as for the referring party’s best interest.

“When do I get to talk about me – doesn’t the person I’m meeting want to know what I do?” I just read a blog post from Michael Port, who has an audio that tells you better than I can how to do this. Listen to it here:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/blog/post/PLNK2S8CRTN2SI5HF

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on this topic – please post them in the comments section below!  If you really like this post, and want to Tweet about it, I’d really appreciate that too!

Tonight I was spending some time on FaceBook - looking at the profiles of those that have either added me as a friend or who had accepted my friend request.  All of a sudden, this post became crystal clear to me to come and talk to you about being respectful of your network.

As you know, I am an Open Networker and on LinkedIn I DO accept almost every single person who requests to connect with me.  I give them a chance, to see what they are all about, if we can resonate with one another, and if we cannot do that, then I can disconnect from them.

I do almost the same thing on FaceBook.  Tonight I spent more time than usual reviewing the profiles because time  had slipped away from me and there were quite a few people that added me as a friend and I had not had the chance to visit their profile and thank them.  Much to my amazement, I spent a good deal of time “unfriending” quite a few people.  You see, their profile was either very unprofessional in the words or in the photo they provided.  I also found quite a few young kids (I’m talking teenagers) who were interested only in the vampire and the blood games.  I quickly unfriended those connections.

Why would I do that?  You see, I’m in the business of building relationships.  In order to build a relationship, both parties must respect one another and the work they are doing.  It would be very unfair of me to expose the contacts in my network to the people that were on FaceBook, LinkedIn or even on Twitter, just to have fun and play games, look for a love connection or simply waste time.

When someone reviews my profile, I would appreciate it if they take the time to see who  has been posting on my wall, the type of messages that are posted and at least glance at who I am connected with. 

On Twitter it is a little more difficult to be choosy, but it’s not impossible.  I’m going through my connections on a regular basis. I’ve decided that if you use an avatar instead of your photo and you are not saying anything that is professional or in the way of sharing business tips and ideas, I’m going to “unfriend” you, “unfollow you” or “disconnect” from you.  My time is valuable, as is yours, and we need to spend time with folks who are here to do business and to help one another grow.

So as I am pruning my network, tell me about yours?  How do you decide who to “friend,” “follow,” or connect with?  How often do you review those connections? 

Are you keeping in touch with those contacts, gradually moving them from the position of contact to connections?  This is very important in developing relationships.  Start to move the contacts deeper into the relationship by asking qualified questions.  One of the major questions I have just started using is “please tell me about one of the most important projects you are working on currently.”  When they respond to my question, I can learn a lot from their answer - not only about the project(s) they are working on, but what type of business people they are and perhaps someone in my network, if not me, myself, may be able to make a referral or suggest a resource that would help them complete that project and add to their revenue stream.

As I close this post, I ask you to tell me about your project - what are you working on right now?  I want to help you so please do tell me.

Your comments are very welcome - please do answer in the comments below - I have asked quite a few questions in this post and I’d love to see this discussion continue.

If you are having trouble developing your contacts into connections and would like to have some coaching sessions to help you on your way, please do let me know.  I work with groups and/or individuals and can help guide you to improving the status of your network and help you generate income from those valuable connections and relationships.

How about it - are you being respectful of your network?

Carol Deckert is one of my favorite people on the planet. I first met her through LinkedIn, then the group LinkedIn Power Women.

After a bit, we started chatting on Skype. After I was asked to join Carol as a co-moderator of LinkedIn Power Women, we found that we not only had a lot in common, but we were actually typing in the same words at the same time to people!  We found that we react in a similar way to a lot of things.  It was so nice.

We have gone so far as to kid around that we are “sisters from another mother”!

In between the fun and support, we are actually working on projects together and helping each other grow business.

We became very close personally, and professionally.  Last week I had the honor of actually visiting one of Carol’s in person networking groups.  It was amazing to spend a good chunk of the day with someone that I know from online networking and phone calls.

Carol and I are living examples of networking, and netweaving, in action!

Dr. Sally Witt on left, Carol Deckert on right (the cute one!!)

Stay tuned for video interviews with Dr. Sally and Carol, and more!

You can listen here to Carol’s interview on the Dr. Sally Show:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drsallywitt/2008/04/14/Carol-Deckert-good-friend-amazing-Networking-Coach

If you want to network with me, just try one or more of the sites below and add me as a friend!

Sally

Dr. Sally Witt Breakthrough Coach/Hypnotherapist

drsallywitt@gmail.com

215/736-0900

skype: drsallywitt

http://www.drsallywitt.com

www.blogtalkradio.com/drsallywitt

http://www.linkedin.com/in/sallywitt

http://twitter.com/drsallywitt

http://www.youtube.com/drsallywitt

http://activerain.com/drsallywitt

http://www.ojeez.com/drsallywitt

http://myspace.com/sallywitt

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=688850804

http://www.ryze.com/go/drsallywitt

Feel free to send me an invitation to link, or to be a friend on any of the sites!

One of my newest connections on LinkedIn sent me an email a few days ago, with a question as to how I manage my connections.  For those of you who are building a network and are “afraid” of over-extending yourself, read on . . .

Here is my response:

Don’t be overwhelmed, take it one step at a time and enjoy what you do! Most of all realize that not all connections will develop into strong business relationships, although our hope is that they will, reality is that they won’t. Don’t be disappointed. Do all you can to nurture your network in whatever time you have available to do it. Most of all, don’t overextend yourself. Enjoy building these relationships - international, multi-cultural relationships really open your eyes to the possibilities! Do only what you can do - and you are the only person who knows what that answer is. 

Enjoy and most of all - let me know how I can be of help to you!

There are so many social networks available today.  Don’t feel like you “have” to belong to all of them.  Be selective and look at the people who are participating.  Do they fit into your target market or do they share a special hobby with you? Do what fits best into your life - don’t be bullied into joining up with everyone, everywhere.  After all, how many places do you  have to be seen in order to network with the same people all the time?  All it takes is one network!

Tell me what you think - how many networks are YOU involved in . . . how do YOU handle YOUR connections?