“Hi Carol, I am from website design and development company based in India. As you arrange public conference so you must interacted with the people of same field. I am looking for business opportunities, can I get references from you.”

My response was: I’m sorry I am not able to provide any references for anyone that I have not done work with. You see, I’m a networking coach and I do believe in helping others achieve their goals but before any business is referred to anyone, a relationship must be built. You must get to know, like and trust the person you are referring and you must also be willing to take care of the person you are making that referral to.

One of the reasons why I opened this Skype Room was to give people the opportunity to interact with one another, to learn more about each other, personally and professionally. Learn how the other person does their work, find out what their work ethics are and generally get to know one another.

My network is important to me- I will not jeopardize the relationships I built my referring someone to any of them without knowing (1) if my network contact even needs their service (2) would be willing to talk with a new vendor (3) or is in the position of being able to pay for the services that are being offered. On the other hand, for the vendor that is referred, I want to know that they are ethical, going to do what they say they are going to do, when they say they are going to do it and not be pushy with my network. The only way I can make sure that happens is to take TIME to get to know the people I am referring. Nothing should be rushed; it’s not a “nice to meet you and now buy from me” situation. That’s no better than running around a networking event just handing out your business cards and saying buy from me. I just won’t do that and I won’t apologize to anyone for not doing that.

I would be totally out of line to refer a new vendor to anyone in my network just because the new vendor told me they want more business. You know, the whole world wants more business. Networking is a tremendous way to get new business, but you do need to know the proper way to do that. Networking is work- you have to “work” at it – the rewards often are tremendous, but it does take time. Just because you want something, does that mean you are going to get it? Of course not, work at developing those relationships. You may be pleasantly surprised how much you receive by doing this but don’t be alarmed at the amount of time you have to spend networking to get these results. It’s not instantaneous gratification! A good point to remember is that what is most important to YOU, may be of no importance at all to THEM – the tune you should be listening to is WIIFT (what’s in it for THEM) not WIIFY (what’s in it for YOU).

“Thanks Carol, I will try my level best to become a member of your network and you will certainly get to know more about me if you look at this website www.xxx.xxxx” Apparently my message wasn’t quite clear enough, because this new person wants to send me to their website to learn more about them. What happens at the website is that I find out about the business, but what does that tell me about the person? People do business with people, not businesses. That’s why it is important to make sure people understand you and how you work – how you take care of your clients, what makes you stand out from the competition? Why should I do business with you? How are you going to solve my problem(s)?

“Can I join your public chat?” Yes, you may join my public chat and yes, I would like to get to know more about you. Just remember, it takes time – share some tips, chat with the members of the chat room and get to know them. It’s ok to share your website on promo day (read the blue guidelines to find out what days that is permitted) but generally participate in conversations! I welcome anyone to come and join in the conversations in the Skype Room – you can find it very easily at http://www.runlancaster.com/skype-room/networking or you may request to connect with me via Skype and I can manually add you into the room.

Please do yourself a favor and don’t ask someone you just meet to refer business to you. Take the time to build the relationship – it will be much better for both of you to know the type of relationship you are part of – knowing that the other person is looking out for your best interest as well as for the referring party’s best interest.

“When do I get to talk about me – doesn’t the person I’m meeting want to know what I do?” I just read a blog post from Michael Port, who has an audio that tells you better than I can how to do this. Listen to it here:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/blog/post/PLNK2S8CRTN2SI5HF

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on this topic – please post them in the comments section below!  If you really like this post, and want to Tweet about it, I’d really appreciate that too!

As I was cruising through my emails today, I came across this one.  You see, I am a firm believer in asking the Universe to be of help whenever possible so I get these daily emails.  If nothing else, they sometimes make me smile and be extremely thankful for all the good things that are happening and have happened in my life.

So on this day, I would like to share this one with you and hope it makes you smile and reflect.

Be selfish for a moment and think of something material that you want… something fantastic, something awesome, something wonderful.

Now, double it. Whatever it is you want, think of owning two of them. They’re yours free and clear. Think of the implications their possession would have on your life. What would your neighbors say? Where would you keep them? What colors would you choose, what dimensions, what characteristics?

Okay, you’re about to receive a third one, more than you could possibly use (at the moment), so who would you give it to? How would you tell them? What would their reaction be? Would you be able to help them take ownership? Would you be there to facilitate the transition, if necessary? What would your friends and family say about your generosity? Would you do it again? If so, for whom?

This exercise has now concluded. Drop it from your thinking. Resume enjoying the here and now, because it’s the only place happiness resides, and every so often, as your mind wanders to thoughts of the above, smile with gratitude.

Choices, choices, choices,
    The Universe

Now that you thought about what YOU would want – those material things that make us all happy (or so we think they will), take a few minutes and reflect on what you have . . . your family, your friends,  your good health, a safe country in which to live, a roof over your head and food on the table. 

Happy Thanksgiving to you, my friends.  I am thankful that each of you have a special place in my life.  Your thoughts and comments would be most welcome here – just use the Comment space below.

Well, that’s exactly what I thought was happening this past week.  A very good friend of mine, Charly Leetham popped into our Skype networking room and was all excited.  It seems as though Jenny Smart, from Cash Smart Kid was running a contest for kids who own their own business.  You can read more about it http://raisingentrepreneurs.org/blog/2008/11/03/and-the-winners-are/

It’s important that you remember what the rules of the contest were as you read the rest of this story.  Jenny devised a competition where the kids had to develop a 2 minute YouTube Video or write a Hub Page about their business. Two winners would be chosen.  She was searching for two entrepreneurs under sixteen to be featured in the 2008 Charity Book Project.

The two winners would be profiled alongside big names like Ben Casnocha, who started a software business at 13, and was CEO of a Silicon Valley start-up, by seventeen.

Charly’s daughter was excited about this contest and got right down to work.  She researched her market until she found a product that she enjoyed reading about and it happened to be about psychic powers.  Charly and her husband, Stuart, encourage their children to be independent thinkers and to work smarter, not harder.  One of the Leetham rules was that Rhiannon would have to research to find a product she liked, she would have to spend her own money to purchase the product because she had to know all about it before recommending that anyone else purchase it.  This product cost $100 of Rhiannon’s own money.

Moving on with this story, Rhiannon built a website and titled it That Psychic Girl and entered the contest.  This week it was announced that Rhiannon was one of the winners!  Her family was ecstatic as they received word of her winning before she returned home from school that day.  As proud parents do (and I would have done the same thing), Charly immediately sent out a press release announcing the contest winning.

This was done in order to keep a positive spin on this activity.  It was written to show that parents worked with their child, allowing them to research and find a product they liked and wanted to represent, had the child purchase the product with her own money and then build a webpage to sell that product.  Wow, if only more parents would encourage that Young Entrepreneurial spirit in their children.  As long as the parents are overseeing the online activities, I see nothing wrong in allowing children to have the freedom to express themselves based on their interests.  Making money was NOT the primary objective here – it was the process that was important and to be announced as a winner in the 2008 Charity Book Project.  A percentage of the proceeds raised from the sales of this product are to go to the winner’s choice of charities. 

Rhiannon has a great interest in internet marketing.  She’s learning it from her parents, she’s developing it under her parents watchful eyes and she donating a portion of her proceeds to charity.  What could ever be wrong with that?  

It seems as though there is a group of cyber bullies in action at the moment.  These bullies have posted Rhiannon’s video and posted quite a lot of nasty comments, bordering along the lines of defamation of character and totally destroying the good this child did with her site.  Why would these “bullies” try to ruin the good name of the parents or tear down this important moment for Rhiannon?

Would psychic powers be a subject I would pick for my child to write about?  More than likely, not – but then again Rhiannon’s parents did not select it either.  I think it’s wonderful to encourage children to think for themselves, do research and find out as much as they can about a product or service and then make some informed decisions.

I have no idea why these cyber bullies are out to destroy anyone else’s work.  Perhaps they are simply jealous that they have to hide behind the printed word as they keep their identities hidden.  Perhaps it was a parent or two of children who didn’t win the contest.

But really, let’s keep this positive and encourage our young people to get involved in something they love to do.  Help them learn more about the dangers and the rewards the internet can provide.  Teach them good networking skills.  Allow them to ask permission to join some community forums and write blog posts.  What a wonderful accent to their education.

As networkers we can help to encourage these tasks.  Won’t you help me to recognize the great work that these kids are doing and help to force these cyber bullies to be quiet and leave hard-working people alone.

What are your thoughts about this?  As a networker, what would you have done to help in this situation?  I’d love to see your comments posted below!