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Tonight I was spending some time on FaceBook - looking at the profiles of those that have either added me as a friend or who had accepted my friend request. All of a sudden, this post became crystal clear to me to come and talk to you about being respectful of your network.
As you know, I am an Open Networker and on LinkedIn I DO accept almost every single person who requests to connect with me. I give them a chance, to see what they are all about, if we can resonate with one another, and if we cannot do that, then I can disconnect from them.
I do almost the same thing on FaceBook. Tonight I spent more time than usual reviewing the profiles because time had slipped away from me and there were quite a few people that added me as a friend and I had not had the chance to visit their profile and thank them. Much to my amazement, I spent a good deal of time “unfriending” quite a few people. You see, their profile was either very unprofessional in the words or in the photo they provided. I also found quite a few young kids (I’m talking teenagers) who were interested only in the vampire and the blood games. I quickly unfriended those connections.
Why would I do that? You see, I’m in the business of building relationships. In order to build a relationship, both parties must respect one another and the work they are doing. It would be very unfair of me to expose the contacts in my network to the people that were on FaceBook, LinkedIn or even on Twitter, just to have fun and play games, look for a love connection or simply waste time.
When someone reviews my profile, I would appreciate it if they take the time to see who has been posting on my wall, the type of messages that are posted and at least glance at who I am connected with.
On Twitter it is a little more difficult to be choosy, but it’s not impossible. I’m going through my connections on a regular basis. I’ve decided that if you use an avatar instead of your photo and you are not saying anything that is professional or in the way of sharing business tips and ideas, I’m going to “unfriend” you, “unfollow you” or “disconnect” from you. My time is valuable, as is yours, and we need to spend time with folks who are here to do business and to help one another grow.
So as I am pruning my network, tell me about yours? How do you decide who to “friend,” “follow,” or connect with? How often do you review those connections?
Are you keeping in touch with those contacts, gradually moving them from the position of contact to connections? This is very important in developing relationships. Start to move the contacts deeper into the relationship by asking qualified questions. One of the major questions I have just started using is “please tell me about one of the most important projects you are working on currently.” When they respond to my question, I can learn a lot from their answer - not only about the project(s) they are working on, but what type of business people they are and perhaps someone in my network, if not me, myself, may be able to make a referral or suggest a resource that would help them complete that project and add to their revenue stream.
As I close this post, I ask you to tell me about your project - what are you working on right now? I want to help you so please do tell me.
Your comments are very welcome - please do answer in the comments below - I have asked quite a few questions in this post and I’d love to see this discussion continue.
If you are having trouble developing your contacts into connections and would like to have some coaching sessions to help you on your way, please do let me know. I work with groups and/or individuals and can help guide you to improving the status of your network and help you generate income from those valuable connections and relationships.
How about it - are you being respectful of your network?
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Nice website. I fairly new to myspace, and facebook, etc. I have to say I have some work yet to do on Facebook with my own profile, but generally I try to present ‘me’ on all my pages. I look specifically for like minded people, before I click an add button, or people that might benefit from what I have to offer. I might be a little more lenient when someone wants to add me, because I’m always thinking how I might be able to positively affect their life, which might have a future return for me, which I recently experience.
I have a couple of times befriended too quickly, not waiting for all the graphics to load, and rushed to the add button so I could leave the page, was added, went back to the page and saw the page was filled with something that I’m not a supporter of.
A valuable lesson learned.
One of my present projects is working on my ning site ifemale.ning.com. It is a social network based on my interests and endeavors in personal development, and higher consciousness learning, and specifically though not exclusively geared toward women, since women and girls are where I’d like to focus my endeavors to empower and inspire, again specifically, but not exclusively.
Great post!
Comment by Kimbereley — September 15, 2008 @ 4:38 am
Hi Patsy,
Many thanks for your comment. Avatars are something I really do not understand. Off-line networking, or face-to-face, you can see the other person’s face, so why would you hide your face while networking online? I may be old-fashioned in my thinking, but the use of avatars immediately makes me ask, “what does this person have to hide?” “Why am I unable to see their eyes?”
I hope others see this post and think about it. Professional reputations are so hard to maintain online but by not using an avatar to represent you, the reputation is much easier to maintain.
Happy Netweaving,
Carol
Comment by admin — September 15, 2008 @ 4:50 am
Kimbereley,
I do agree with your thoughts and comments. I do believe we are all guilty of being in a hurry to accept someone as a friend. In “real life” we take the time to get to know someone before we call them friend, so why aren’t we doing the same thing online? Just because someone asks us to become friends does not mean we are required to accept them as friends.
Great points, thanks for posting,
Happy Netweaving,
Carol
Comment by admin — September 15, 2008 @ 10:26 am
I totally agree. I haven’t used facebook very much mainly because I pretty new at this and still trying to figure out how to use it and be professional. I did get hooked on twitter so I’m at least listening more. But I have also unfollowed some people who seemed to spam me with lots of info but no real information or I even appreciate giving me food for thought. I appreciate this blog. One that I will read several more times just to make sure I’ve gotten everything out of it.
Linda Hampton RN, MSN
Comment by Linda Hampton — September 15, 2008 @ 11:49 am
Carol,
Great post. I am so happy with the wonderful friends that I have made online. They are professional contacts, as many have become close personal friends as well.
You are an inspiration, and always have great ideas and advice.
Beautiful new look and colors, by the way!!
Thank you,
Sally
http://www.drsallywitt.com
Comment by Dr. Sally Witt — September 15, 2008 @ 2:19 pm
I agree with your post completely and I do take the time to “check out” those people that wish to add me as a friend.
One of my pet peeves about the whole thing is business owners that have a bunch of pictures of them partying, drinking, etc. Honestly, I like to portray myself in a professional manner and I try to conduct business with others that do the same. For me, that is a big faux pas when it comes representing yourself and your business.
Marc Norriss last blog post..One Year Since my Last Day of Work
Comment by Marc Norris — September 15, 2008 @ 3:04 pm
Dr. Sally! Thanks so much for your kind words. I love networking online and enjoy the professionalism of most of the people I interact with. That’s why I feel it is so important to be aware of exactly who you have accepted as a friend - does he/she fit in with the reputation you want to portray for yourself.
As always, I appreciate you and your support!
Happy Netweaving,
Carol
Comment by admin — September 15, 2008 @ 3:39 pm
Hi Marc,
Your statement is right on and I totally agree. Can you tell us - what criteria do you use to determine if a new contact is going to be the right person to integrate into your network? If they do not fit, do you give them a reason why you will not accept the connection request?
Happy Netweaving,
Carol
Comment by admin — September 15, 2008 @ 3:50 pm
Linda,
I am so pleased that you are enjoying my blog posts.
You are absolutely right, most people do not “get it” that in order to do business, relationships must first be built. They cannot come online and point to you and say buy from me - that is nothing but spam and will not help them develop their business.
Please do stay tuned for more discussions like this one. If you have a topic you would like to see discussed, please post it here or send me a private email!
Happy Netweaving,
Carol
Comment by admin — September 15, 2008 @ 3:52 pm
The keyword for me is always value- when I look at a connection I always ask can I add value to this person, can they add value to me or ideally can we add value to one another.At least one of these questions has to be answered yes in order for me to add them to my network.
Katherine Reschkes last blog post..The Passion Project Presents Michelle Waters
Comment by Katherine Reschke — September 15, 2008 @ 8:41 pm
Katherine, that’s a very good point and a very important point. If we are unable to add value to anything, it’s just not worth doing! Thanks so much for your comments!
Happy Netweaving,
Carol
Comment by admin — September 15, 2008 @ 8:48 pm
I totaly agree with your statement regarding avatars. If I don’t see a picture I have a hard time relating to this person so I am less likely to follow or friend them. I also like to see recent activity when choosing my friends or follows. Thank you for reminding me that I need to review my contacts, friends and tweeple followers on a regular basis.
Patsy Stewarts last blog post..Facebook for Recruiting… What’s working
Comment by Patsy Stewart — September 15, 2008 @ 8:51 pm
Hi Carol,
I agree with your statements. I do see a lot of “business” people - particularly on Facebook that post inappropriate pics or send spam or other items that are not professional. I actually was initially against joining facebook because I thought it was more of a “kittie” site - similar to myspace. I have made some professional contacts there but some friends and family also join and I dont want to unfriend them because I am supposed to be doing business. I also dont have a picture posted mainly because I dont really have one that I would want to post. I do however post my company logo and if you go to our website I do have a pic there that my partner cropped enough for me to be ok with.
When I follow people or friend people I try to follow this criteria:
1. Are they active?
2. Can I be of service to them?
3. Can they be of service to me?
4. Do I know people who would benefit from what they offer?
As for my own business problems (I know you asked this also), I am having a hard time doing two things: Generating more traffic to our website and finding regular clients. Lots of one time jobs but nothing “regular”.
Hope this was useful. Your post was very helpful and I think I will start paring down my “friends” as well.
Comment by Magda Byrne — September 16, 2008 @ 9:00 am
Well, I’m glad the Facebook algorithm thought I knew you and I made contact!! Great site and you have also shown another important trait of good networking (which I must improve on) - responding to blog comments. Blogs are the backbone of socialnetworking.
David Rogerss last blog post..How to Say No
Comment by David Rogers — September 16, 2008 @ 3:38 pm
Hi David,
I’m glad also that Facebook allowed us to connect. I truly appreciate you taking the time from your busy schedule to comment on my blog post(s). I love networking and enjoy reading all the comments which is why I also respond to them as well! Please don’t be afraid to share the link for your blog and I’ll stop by and visit/comment on yours as well! Come back and visit often!
Happy Netweaving!
Carol
Comment by admin — September 16, 2008 @ 4:33 pm
I loved this post. I am new to Facebook and not sure it will be worth the time and effort for me. Also new to Twitter, but it seems a bit more workable. I’ve been on Linked-In for a long time, but haven’t done much with it.
Basically, as a Virtual Assistant, I have to stay busy to pay the bills. After 30+ in the legal field I continue to do a lot of legal work as a VA. But I also help a motivational speaker set up and prepare for his events, handle calendaring, email and travel arrangements for another client, teach classes on digital dictation/transcription and other office applications, write newsletters, set-up and maintain client websites, and much moe. I even fill in extra hours with basic transcription.
In short — I work whenever work is available and I love what I do. I now live and work fulltime in my RV and travel with my 2 Giant Schnauzers and 2 small parrots. It took me a year to transition into this lifestyle, butt I am passionate about my work and my vintage RV.
I subscribe to the idea that every contact has a responsibility to the relationship. I do not like Avatars. And while I am tolerant of most folks, after so many years in the establishment I understand the value of a reputation. If someone is offensive or does not fit into my professional circle, I will likely drop them as they may well reflect poorly on me and limit my success with others.
I enjoy this Blog and will return often. I look forward to the many new friends I will make via my work and my network. So much information available to help us all succeed.
Regards,
Karalyn
http://www.cardinalpointva.com
Comment by Karalyn — October 17, 2008 @ 1:38 pm
Hi Karalyn,
I can honestly appreciate the fact that you are not sure if FaceBook, Twitter or any other social media marketing platform for that matter will be beneficial for your business. Every contact has the opprtunity to become a connection. How you handle that contact will determine the level of success in your connection(s).
As a former VA, I struggled with the same thoughts. Any time you have the opportunity to provide good, high-quality information and showcase it above your name, is worth the time you spend doing it. Consistency and repetition is the key.
I love the fact that you are working virtually via an RV - how exciting that must be!
Thanks for reading, and for posting, and please do stop by often!
How many other VAs are out there, making their living by traveling and living in an RV - see the world and work your own hours, living your dream with great passion! Awesome!
Happy Netweaving,
Carol
Comment by admin — October 17, 2008 @ 5:05 pm